I once had a long-distance telephone conversation with an angry caller. The person felt that I had ignored a member of his family in a time of need and so proceeded to “dress me down” for it. When I tried to explain that I was not aware that I had neglected the relative and that it certainly was not intentional, he accused me of not being very bright. That’s hard to take—even for a preacher. I had been falsely accused, tried, and sentenced before I had a chance to defend myself.
The first inclination was to fight back—an eye for an eye, a name for a name. That’s what my old sinful nature wanted to do. Fortunately, I also have a new nature from Christ and it prevailed. So I calmly explained and apologized. However, there was no reasoning with him. His mind was made up and he didn’t want to be confused by the facts. When I hung up the phone my muscles were tense, my heartbeat was faster, and my stomach was burning. While I had kept my cool outwardly, inwardly I was burning up.
Has anything like that ever happened to you? I’m sure it has. Life is full of unpleasant situations like that which we must learn to deal with. Three things helped me:
First, I took a walk to cool off and calm down. To get up and get out of the office and walk a bit helped me relax.
Second, I tried to see his point of view. He and his family had been through a time of great stress and he was just venting his frustrations on me. He probably didn’t mean all he was saying and would be sorry for it later. He needed my understanding, not my retaliation.
Third, I prayed for him. Jesus taught me to do that (Matthew 5:38-48). So I asked God to bless him and help him in his frustrations and need. That helped him and me too.
The one thing I refused to do was to harbor resentment. It could hurt no one but me. So I forgave him and forgot the matter. Someone has said, “For every minute of hating, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.”
Don’t get the idea that all this was easy for me. C. S. Lewis said, “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until he has something to forgive.” Forgiveness comes hard, but the price of resentment is too high to pay. Christ’s way is better and I recommend it to you.