Divorce is the most shattering blow the human spirit can suffer. When you deeply love your mate and have a strong conviction about marriage, divorce can be worse than death. When you lose a mate through divorce, they are just as gone and you are just as lonely as if they had died. Divorce brings with it all of the shock and the loneliness of death, plus much more.
How is divorce worse than death?
1. When people die, we do not expect them to come back again. When they are buried, we know that is the end. But often in the case of divorce, one person hangs on to the hope of reconciliation for years. This delays the healing process and makes it worse than death.
2. When our mates die, there is no guilt or shame or sense of failure in their death. But when a divorce occurs, all of these emotions—guilt, shame, and a sense of failure—often accompany it. The divorced person is left to struggle with the question, “Where did I fail? What could I have done differently?” Sometimes the bitterness is so great that they vow never to love again. The emotional scars of divorce can last a lifetime.
3. When a person dies, friends come to love, support, and help you through the grief period. But when a divorce happens, often no one comes to help, including the pastor. Sometimes it is because they do not know about the divorce. More often it is because they do not know what to say. So you are left to deal with the grief and loneliness by yourself.
Though divorce is difficult, it need not be devastating. There is help available. The same Lord who will help you through the grief and loneliness of death also stands ready to help you through the divorce experience. Nothing can separate you from the love of God—not even divorce. If you are going through this most shattering of human experiences, turn to God and his church, not away from them, and you can find help.