Former advice columnist Dear Abby once said: “If my mail rings true there are almost as many marriages on the rocks as there are rocks.” This is tragic! Marriage is supposed to bring joy, completeness, and fulfillment to life. However, I don’t know of anything that starts with such tremendous hopes and fails so regularly as marriage.
What does it take to build a good marriage? According to the Bible, five things are necessary.
1. Love: People are starved for love; they watch endless numbers of films about happy and unhappy love stories. They listen to hundreds of trashy songs about love. Yet hardly anyone thinks there is anything that needs to be learned about love. Love is not something you fall into. It is something you grow into. To love is to be like Christ who suffered unjustly and even gave his life for us. This kind of love is costly and doesn’t happen accidently.
2. Submission: The word means to voluntarily yield or give your rights to the judgement or discretion of another. There can be no real peace in marriage unless there is much yielding to one another by both husband and wife. While some husbands and wives are afraid that this will lead to abuse, there need be no fear in yielding to love.
3. Consideration: This word is composed of two words that mean “to live at home” and “with.” It brings to mind a problem of modern life. Some spouses allow themselves to be so overburdened by their professional duties that they have too little time for their families. Marriage demands that a good husband and wife take time to be with one another, talk to one another, and encourage one another.
4. Fidelity: There is no person above temptation.The romantic impulse never dies—it sleeps—with one eye open. It will spring to life if properly (or improperly) provoked. All serious entanglements begin with a harmless flirtation. The time to stifle it is yesterday. It doesn’t just happen. Romantic love may be blind, but it isn’t sudden. Marriage is built on faith and trust and the vows made should be kept.
5. Prayer: My ministry has taught me that the first difficulty between many husbands and wives is their inability to communicate with one another. “He or she doesn’t understand me...” But if together they can discuss their problems with the Lord, before they know it, God’s spirit gives them appreciation for one another.
Is your marriage on the rocks? If there is a breath of life left in your marriage, the possibility of restoration to sweet fellowship is always there. The method: repent, invite Jesus Christ in so he can change some hearts. Then work out your problems with the tools of love and understanding provided by the Holy Spirit.