Someone has said that marriage is like twirling a baton, turning handsprings, or eating with chopsticks—it looks easy until you try it.
Marriage is not as easy as it looks. In marriage two people with different backgrounds, tastes, views, habits, etc. begin to share their lives completely. Conflict is inevitable. After all, no two people will agree on everything. To live together in harmony will require understanding, acceptance, adjustment, and change.
Adjustment to each other in marriage takes time. In the Old Testament during the first year a man was married he was not subject to the military draft or to civil service. He was allowed to stay at home and “cheer” his wife (Deuteronomy 24:5). I’m not sure of all that the word “cheer” means, but it must be important.
The principle is this: it takes time to build a good marriage. It takes time to get used to one another, understand one another, and accept one another. And it is so vital that for the first year the Lord said they should give their undivided attention to it.
At best, we bring into marriage the raw materials for a good relationship. With that material we must then build a good marriage. It’s like building a house. The contractor dumps a load of lumber on the site but it is a long way from being a house. The carpenter must then cut each board to fit in its proper place. Adjustment is to marriage what sawing, planing, and sanding is to a house. It is necessary to make all the parts fit together into a whole.
Building a house is hard work, but it’s fun too. It’s a thrill to see the plan become a reality day by day as each board is put into its proper place. Marriage is the same way. If you are married, you have all the materials necessary to build a good relationship. At the wedding you signed the contract. Now get to work at the building process.
Oh, and if you run into problems you can’t handle—call on Jesus. He’s the master carpenter and homebuilder, you know.