4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Introduction
Quite often parents come to talk to me about their teenagers. They are usually distressed about the moral and spiritual condition of their child and they do not know where to turn.
Sadly, most of these parents are several years too late. If they had shown more concern about the moral and spiritual well-being of their children when they were younger, they might not be so worried about them now.
Many parents take a “hands off” attitude toward the religious training of their children. They say that they want to let their children decide such matters for themselves. But we cannot afford to take this attitude. The world is unwilling to assume such a position of neutrality concerning our children and we can’t afford to take it either.
Most of us will agree that children should not be “pushed” toward Christ. But neither should their spiritual needs be ignored. They should be taught about Christ, introduced to Christ, and given opportunities to respond to him without pressure from adults or from other children.
Both logic and scripture tell us that parents are the people who should lead their children to a spiritual experience with Christ. The experience of Jesus dealing with little children not only teaches us Jesus’ attitude toward children but gives us an example of the attitudes and the actions that parents ought to take toward their children and Christ. The parents in this experience had a discernment as to who Jesus was, they had a desire that he bless their children, and they determined to bring their children to Jesus. The discernment, desire, and determination of these parents should be the discernment and desire and determination of every parent.
1. Parents need discernment.
It has always been true that people with spiritual discernment have recognized who Jesus Christ really is. The Roman centurion whose servant was critically ill recognized that Jesus was a man who had divine authority. As he was a man under authority from Rome and needed only to give an order to set things in motion, so he recognized Jesus as being invested with authority from heaven. If Jesus would but speak the word, his servant would be healed.
Jairus, the ruler of the synagogue whose little daughter was at the point of death, recognized the healing power of Jesus. He said to him, “I pray thee, come and lay thy hands on her, that she may be healed; and she shall live” (Mark 5:23).
And the parents in this experience recognized that Jesus was from God and could bless their children. So they brought them to Jesus even against the protest of his disciples so that he might lay his hands upon them and bless them.
It is important that parents recognize who Jesus is. He is the Son of God. He is the risen Savior. He is the one who is able to bless our nation, our homes, and our little ones. Until parents see this they will not feel the compulsion that they should feel to bring their children to Christ.
A hymn by Jemima T. Luke in 1841 has expressed the continuing power of Jesus to bless and to save in these words:
I think when I read that sweet story of old,
When Jesus was here among men,
How he called little children as lambs to his fold,
I should liked to have been with him then.
I wish that his hands had been placed on my head,
That his arms had been thrown around me,
And that I might have seen his kind look when he said,
“Let the little ones come unto me.”
Yet still to his footstool in prayer I may go,
And ask for a share of his love;
And if I thus earnestly seek him below,
I shall see him and hear him above.
We are glad for that third verse because we need not plaintively or vainly wish for Christ’s blessings on our children. He is the risen Savior and able to bless us and all our little ones today.
2. Parents must prioritize their children’s spiritual understanding.
When we know the desire of Jesus to bless little children it ought then to be the desire of all parents to bring their children to him for the blessing of salvation also. When we know how Jesus feels about little children, how can we be indifferent to them ourselves? How can we ignore their religious questions? How can we brush aside their religious inquiries? How can we allow our children to grow up to be strangers to prayer? To the church? To the Bible? And to the plan of salvation? Knowing their value to Jesus should affect our attitude. His desire should be our desire also.
Children can have a meaningful experience with God at a very early age. Samuel did. Though he was born to godly parents and was dedicated to God as an infant, and was then raised in the Temple by the aged priest Eli, he was not yet able to recognize the voice of God the first time God spoke to him. He needed the help of his guardian to identify the voice of God and to know how to make a meaningful response to him (1 Samuel 3). But with that help he did make a genuine testament to God and answered his call.
Jeremiah was just a child when God spoke to him and called him to be a prophet. God informed Jeremiah that he had known him before his conception and that he had a predetermined plan for his life and that he was now giving him a personal call into the ministry. Of course Jeremiah had a choice in the matter. He could accept or reject the call of God as any person can. No person is ever forced to serve God against his will, and it was with great reluctance that Jeremiah did accept God’s call. But the fact remains that God did speak to him at an early age (Jeremiah 1:1-9).
Dr. F. B. Stockdale was converted at an early age also and soon began to witness to others. As he was leaving a meeting one day, a Christian woman remarked, “What can that boy know about God. He is only a child!” Stockdale overheard her remark, and it completely crushed him. Dejected and forlorn, he concluded that he would never speak in public again. That night he opened his Bible to the first chapter of Jeremiah where he read, “But the Lord said unto me, Say not, I am a child: for thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee thou shalt speak. Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to deliver thee” (Jeremiah 1:7-8). The boy later declared that he fell in love with the book of Jeremiah from that time on. Reassured, he continued to testify, became an outstanding preacher, and had the joy of seeing many precious souls won to Christ.
Jesus was but a boy of 12 when there first stirred within him that sense of mission that would one day sweep him out of the carpenter’s shop and into places and experiences that were utterly beyond his parents’ expectations. And at that early age he made a meaningful commitment to God. He recognized at the age of 12 not only that God was, but that God was his Father and that he had a prior claim on his life. It was then that he first acknowledged that he must be about his Father’s affairs (Luke 2:41-49).
Not only does the Bible tell us of people who had meaningful experiences with God at an early age but history also tells us about many such children. In Scotland many years ago, a faithful minister was approached by one of his deacons who seemed to be under a great burden.
“I came early to meet you,” he said, frowning, “because I have something on my conscience tell you. There must be something wrong with your preaching and work; in a whole year there has been only one person added to the church, and he is only a boy.”
The old minister went into the pulpit that day with a grieved heart. He lingered, after the rest had gone, to pray. He wished to be alone. He had labored hard for many years, and it was hard to be told that his labor was no longer blessed. At last he recognized that he was not alone as he had supposed. It was the one who had been converted, the boy.
“Well, Robert, what is it?” the old preacher asked. “Can I help you?”
“Do you think if I work hard—” the boy’s anxious eyes beseeched his— “that if I work hard enough, I could ever become a preacher? Or perhaps a missionary?”
The preacher looked at the boy, studying him for a long time. He could not hold back the tears. Finally he spoke: “This heals the ache in my heart, Robert. I see the divine hand now. Yes, I think you will become a preacher.”
That boy was Robert Moffat. He was “only a boy” but the measure of the old minister’s reward would be found in the gathered fruitage of the laborers of Robert Moffat, the great missionary to Africa.
We have 11 men on our church staff. I recently asked each of them how old he was when he accepted Christ as Lord and Savior. The average age when these dedicated workers for Christ became Christians was 10 and one half years of age. So children can and do make meaningful lifetime commitments to Christ at an early age.
While we know that parents cannot make decisions for their children, they can see to it that children know about Jesus Christ and understand the importance of a genuine commitment to him when the time is right.
Children begin to sin early in their lives, they can hear God’s voice, and they can be saved and begin to serve him. The desire then of every parent ought to be to bring their children to Christ as soon as they are ready.
3. Parents can help lead their children to Christ.
One day a teacher was instructing her class about the kingdoms of the universe, and to make her point plain she said, “Everything in our classroom belongs to one of the three kingdoms—our desk belongs to the vegetable kingdom, our slate and pens to the mineral kingdom, and little Alice—” she added, looking at the child nearest her— “belongs to the animal kingdom.”
But Alice would have none of it. Looking up at her teacher she said, “Teacher, you are wrong. My mother says that I belong to the kingdom of heaven.”
Little Alice was right. Children who trust the Savior—and how readily they put their hands into the hands of the Good Shepherd—belong to the kingdom of God. Therefore it ought to be the determination of every parent to introduce their children to Christ.
The apostle Paul urges Christian parents to bring their children up in the discipline and the training of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). In the Old Testament parents were told that they should teach their children the word of God when they got up in the morning, when they sat in their home, when they traveled on a journey, and when they lay down to sleep at night (Deuteronomy 6:7). In all the normal events of life they were to teach and to train their children. The most effective teaching does not take place when we say to our children, “Sit down and be quiet! I am going to tell you a thing or two.” The most effective teaching takes places simply by living together. As we walk together, work together, sit together, and eat together, we teach and transmit the eternal values we hold.
The ultimate purpose of Bible teaching is for each boy and girl to reach for Christ when they realize that they have sinned against God and are spiritually lost. True redemption only comes when one reaches the time of moral responsibility and commits himself in faith to God.
Eugene Chamberlain said that there are two dangers related to the salvation of children: 1) too much too soon—pushing younger children to make decisions for which they are not prepared; and 2) too little too late—neglecting older children who are mature enough to accept Christ. We must guard against both extremes.
Children can experience genuine salvation when they have reached the level of maturity to recognize their sin and come to Christ under the convicting power of the Holy Spirit.
Children should not be pushed away from Christ nor toward Christ—they should be given opportunities to respond to him without pressure from adults or other children. And parents are the logical and scriptural ones to lead their children to Christ.
Edith Schaeffer, commenting on our Lord’s “woe” to those who “offend children” (Matthew 18:6-7) said, “a child is being robbed or ‘offended’ if he or she is not given the truth with enough explanation and answers to questions that there is a measure of understanding.”
No year of preadolescence can be identified as the year for children to be converted. Not all children reach the age of understanding and moral and spiritual accountability at the same time. But when that time comes, the parent should help the child to make a genuine commitment of his heart to Jesus Christ and then to join a church and be baptized.
Becoming a Christian is not just taking something from God. It means giving your whole life to God. Parents should make that personal commitment to Jesus Christ first themselves. Then they should show their children by the way they live and how they act what it means to be committed to the Lord. And then they should teach their children about the Savior and lead them to trust in him as soon as the time is right.
A young man wanted to be a Christian and discussed this with his dad. His father said, “Wait,” but this is a dangerous word. The boy, however, reminded his father, “Jesus called the children, and Daddy, I believe he included me.”