Life involves conflict. It always has and it always will. This is as true of marriage as of any other relationship. When two sinful people (and we all are sinful) have a close relationship of any kind...at home, or at work, or among friends...they have to really work at it.
Here are six good ways to deal with conflict:
1. Handle the conflict as it arises. The Bible warns, “Let not the sun go down upon your wrath.” Longstanding unresolved differences eventually lead to bitterness and resentment that is difficult to overcome. Deal with differences swiftly and decisively.
2. Confront each other courteously. There is no place for crudeness or rudeness. Each person should be treated kindly, respectfully, and courteously.
3. Stick with the issues. Most quarrels quickly degenerate into name-calling contests. The central issue is forgotten or laid aside and we attack each other instead of the problem. Instead of seeking to solve the problem in a mutually acceptable way, it becomes a matter of which one of us is going to win and one is going to lose.
4. Listen as much as you talk. The Bible says, “Be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God” (James 1:19-20). Most quarrels and squabbles could be solved by practicing this simple word from God.
5. Seek a compromise. In courtesy and respect, two people must compromise and seek a mutually acceptable solution to their problems.
6. Learn to forgive and to forget. The five most important words in relationships are, “I am sorry; forgive me.” Forgiveness means accepting what has happened, accepting the apology, and pledging yourself to live in the present and the future and not in the past. To forgive means to forget.