There are only two basic problems in any marriage. One is the husband; the other is the wife. The washing machine is no problem. If it breaks down it can be fixed with a few dollars and any problem that can be fixed with a few dollars is no problem. People are not as easily fixed. In fact you can’t fix them. They have to fix themselves.
This is why, in building a happy marriage, it is so important to major on self-improvement. When you were married you did not promise to change your husband or wife; you promised to love them. It is not your task to make your mate over but to make him or her happy. Any remodeling projects should be directed at yourself.
There are several things that husbands and wives can do to build a happier marriage.
1. Avoid a nagging, critical spirit. It's been said that many a person has made his marital grave with a series of little digs. Complaining is a terrible and destructive habit. Grumbling will eventually mean the death of love.
2. Keep yourself attractive. (See the devotional "Keeping Yourself Attractive in Marriage")
3. Encourage and compliment each other. Every person has an ego that needs to be pumped up occasionally. Mates ought to provide this basic need.
4. Talk things over. A lack of communication is at the root of almost all unhappy marriages. There is no other area of life where so little an investment can pay such rich dividends.
5. Show common courtesies. Opening doors, helping with coats, saying “thank you” and “please” are little things but they are important in a happy marriage.
6. Pray together. There is something about bringing your problems before the highest court of justice that helps.
Marriages fail because people fail. And marriages fail because people try to live without God.